The Unbreakable Leo

A song I remember hearing once as a kid spoke to me. A song by a special young man named Sam Cooke. The song was, "A Change is Gonna Come." The first time I heard it was while watching the movie "Malcolm X" with my parents. "I was born by the river, in a little tent. Oh and just like the river I've been running, ever since"....the song starts out. I seemed to grasp metaphors from a young age, but this lines stands out in my head. Sometimes I feel that it speaks to me, even today.

It's been 11 months since I last worked in television and since then I feel like the old Nathan has floated down stream, but he planted a seed along the banks before he left. Now the new person begins to grow so close to the river. Although the roots are solid, the river could sweep me away. If I were to sit here and tell you that my life has been easy, I'd be joking. If I were to tell you that its been hard, I'd be severely understating. I have a job and I think Allah for it even though sometimes I'd rather die then go into work. But if it's one thing I've learned is that God willing, a change in gonna come.

I'm saying this because I have to believe it. If I didn't my soul would die on a daily basis knowing that nothing better is in sight. In the past I've been running like the river looking for something to fulfill who I was, even though I wasn't even sure of who I was. I'll give you a brief breakdown of the last few years. 2004 & 2005 kicked ass, since I finally got to travel the world. 2005-2008 were great because I moved to LA and fell in love with sunny SoCal. 2009 was the worst since I lost my job and had to take one that...well lets just say I'm counting the days until something better comes along. 2010 has to be the year. The year of Nathan! The year for change!

I'm giving myself a deadline. I have to find a new job by Ramadan or it's back to Iowa. I'm not happy with the situation, but honestly I'd be a fool to stay somewhere that I don't belong. A friends father once told me, "being a man means you have to do a lot of things you don't want to do." Well I'll add to that by saying that being a man means knowing when to stay and knowing when to go. I hope I can stay, but I need to prepare to go and run with the river.